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2005-06-08 - 4:57 p.m.

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I can't believe I almost forgot to thank you Jenn, for your entry this morning which prompted me to write mine.

I had every intention of continuing to clean up around here during Nathan�s naps today, but I find myself at the computer once again. I spent so much time on my last entry that I didn�t read anybody else�s last night. I just want yall to know that I am addicted to your diaries. I love them. You are so different from one another in how you write, what thoughts you choose to express and how you express them.

Let me start by saying that I want to apologize to anyone I have offended in any way, shape or form. If I have ever hurt your feelings with anything I have ever written, I am sorry for that too. I really mean that. Some times we may indeed step on each others feet as we allow our thoughts to be made known. I suppose that is just part of it, but I am still sorry if I have hurt anyone.


It is my nature to defend myself when I sense that my actions are being judged. I know each of you enough to realize that no one deliberately did that. I just happen to be sensitive about some of the feelings you have expressed in your diaries. Some of them wounded my heart. Again, that is my fault, for being too sensitive and relating what you say in YOUR diary to MY life just because it happens to pertain to me also.
Each of us is unique in how we choose to handle some of the same issues. Our children are unique in how they will respond. It�s that simple.

I want to confess that my motives in writing last night�s entry were wrong. I was writing it in defense of my decisions regarding Nathan and sleep. It took me hours to write that entry because I wanted to be sure to �get my point across�. I know it is fine for me to write whatever I want to write, but my motives were wrong, nonetheless.

Where does this take us? I don�t know. I just know that I want to be there for anyone that chooses to ask for my support, opinions, etc. about any issue. I really care about each of you and consider you as more than just acquaintances but as Leslie put it �friends�. It affects me when yall are going through rough spots in your lives and I want to be there to encourage, uplift and maybe at times give my two cents when I really feel led to offer a different view. I will try to stop being so sensitive about what I read in your diaries. I will always try to be supportive of your goals, whatever they may be.

It is OK for us to differ in our opinions about things. (I am telling myself this as well as anyone who finds that opinions that are different from their own are hard to swallow) I am such a black and white thinker. James does not particularly like this trait about me. I need to learn to see other peoples� views as sound for them just as I see my own views as sound for me. The best way for me to do that is by asking lots of questions and trying to put myself in other peoples� shoes. I desire to know what makes people feel the way they do. If I ask too many questions, just tell me and I will stop. I suppose that is it. For now at least :-)

Since starting Nathan on solid food, his poop has become�.less virgin, if you will. Today, for the first time ever he had semi solid poop. It kind of got plastered to the back of his diaper and there was in imprint of his cute little crack in it. I was going to take a picture but I decided not to �show� and just �tell�. Telling is plenty, I�m sure.

I have been working on this on and off all day long. So, that is about it for today.

Here is my tired little love!
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