Thank you all for the notes of encouragement and support. Every time I check me e-mail and see that I have a new note from one of you waiting for me, it makes me very happy.

Well, Nathan had his 6 month appointment this morning. He weighs 16lbs 8oz and is 26 inches in length. He growth is right at the 25 percentile for weight/height and head circumf. He has steadily been at that 25 % mark since birth. To look at him, he is lean, but he does have chunky thighs and full chipmunk cheeks. I love that he is the size he is. He feels so good to me!

We talked about starting solids. She said I could wait up to 8 months to really get him going on them if I wanted or if he was terribly put off by them now. She said it is my choice. I think I choose to feed him some rice cereal this afternoon and see what he thinks of it and let him help me decide over the next few days.

We talked about his length and I told her that James just installed a rear facing convertible car seat. 26 inches is usually when they have to give up their infant carrier car seat thingy. I hate that because his head flopped forward when he fell asleep on the way home. Any suggestions about that?

We talked about boundaries and how best to get the point across that pulling hair is not allowed, reaching for something hot is dangerous, etc. She recommends that I don't say "No" all the time because he will just ignore that word later on from hearing it so much. She said to say something like "Don't pull mama's hair" and physically remove his hand (full of hair) from up there. I say he is allowed to explore his world all he wants, but when he gets too rough exploring my face, I will let him know firmly but lovingly. Boundary setting.

So that brings me to the main discussion I had with her. Sleep of course. She reminded me that he is fully capable of going 8-10 hours without nursing. I told her about the one and only almost 7 hr stretch 3 nights ago. See? He can do it. He doesn't want to, but he can. And he will. So nursing isn't an issue. Going to sleep, waking and getting back to sleep is. Her recommendation is for me to let him cry it out like I have been doing except to wait at least 10 minutes between comfort visits. She also told me that it would be quicker if I wouldn't go in at all. "Let him cry for 2 hours straight?", I asked. "Yes" was her answer. She told me that she knew it sounded harsh, but that babies will fight for their lives to get what they think they need. THINK THEY NEED. I know what he needs. Better Sleep.

Lately, I have been going in every few minutes to try to comfort him, but he just gets angrier when I do. I know he is just pissed. I asked her if there was ANY other way and she said that every baby was different and in her opinion, Nathan would best benefit from a rigid schedule as opposed to a flexible one. He needs to learn that I mean business when it comes to sleeping. This hit home. I do need to convey to him that he is old enough to fall asleep on his own. It may sound cruel to some of you reading this, but I AM going to do this. I will NOT turn off the monitor, I will NOT go outside (unless I have the monitor with me), I will NOT try to sleep through it. I do feel that if I am going to 'do this to him', he needs to know I am still around, so I will be there to encourage him and comfort him every 10 minutes if he needs it. I will be consistent. I believe this will work out for the best in the long run. Letting him go to sleep initially for naps or bed is not going to be the hard part. The hard part is going to be during the middle of the night when he wakes up and I have to let him cry for 10 minutes before going in there to comfort him. No, I can't just do that. I will start by going in, talking to him softly, put his snuggle puppy in his arms, say "night night", then leave him alone for 10 minutes......then, I will do it again and again.

She assured me that he would not feel abandoned. I really do believe that. I can only do what I can. And I feel that I have to do this for both of us. He will grow from this experience.

Here is my little man during and after a nice nap this morning when we got home from his appointment. I am SO VERY LUCKY, SO VERY BLESSED to have been given the HONOR of mothering this precious child.