Nathan has a 7:20 am appointment with an allergy doctor in the morning. He will undergo skin testing for food allergies. I am NOT looking forward to seeing him in pain, but I AM looking forward to finding out some answers regarding his intolerance to certain foods. James will be able to go with us.

My father is in town visiting. He and James did some wiring in the house (computer cables and such.)

James and I have decided that if Marylou would like to come to Pensacola to live with us once she is out of the hospital then we will make it happen. I have desired this ever since I first saw her in the hospital, but I knew James would never go for it. I have a lot to offer her and I KNOW she would benefit from being with family. I first brought it up to James the week before last while we were in Birmingham. I actually brought it up in front of his parents also, but just blurted it out really. Anyway, in private James said he didn't think that it would work, but over the last week and a half or so Marylou has declined even more so. The doctors and therapists both agree that if she has something to look forward to that maybe she will begin to fight. Healthwise, she has several strikes against her, but the doctors say she has a TON of potential. She isn't doing what she needs to do in order to ever reach any type of 'function'. I hate to see her like this.

I have been the main person interacting with her doctors, nurses and sitters. I am going to Bham every other week and staying all day with her (like 8-10 hours). There is noone else at this time who lives in town that has been able to do this. I know she benefits from my visits. She tries to do stuff when I am there. Then the staff says that after I leave she goes back into her shell. She has a lot of anxiety and a lot of pain. She may benefit from some large doses of anti-anxiety medicine. She is now on LARGE doses of Morphine and other narcotics. She is getting so much that her mind is in left field quite a bit. She didn't even know who I was last night.

On top of all that, it appears that not everyone would be happy with us taking her to Pensacola. I ONLY WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR HER. If it is us, then SO BE IT. I don't hear anyone else offering to change their lifestyle to take care of her. I'm so hurt inside. I don't know how to handle talking to her about trying to not take so much pain medicine. Or how to convince her that she MUST move around some. That she MUST let someone put her in a wheelchair for a few minutes and take her out of her hospital room. That she MUST try if she wants to live.

If she is DONE with living, then I will respect that, but she needs to decide. I'm afraid all this pain medicine is just numbing her physically and mentally from taking a look at her current situation and dealing with it.

James has told me over and over that he doesn't think I can handle all this stress. The stress regarding Marylou is one thing I CAN handle. The stress of FAMILY FIGHTING over what is going to become of her is something else. I will NOT settle for anything less than the best for her and that is that.