It's 12:50pm on Friday, July 13th. Interesting. Friday the 13th. I don't really believe in that kind of thing, but I think it is interesting anyway. My heart is filled with sadness at the loss of our beloved Blossom. She died July 9th - Monday. It was Marylou's birthday (Marylou gave Blossom to us in 98' - Blossom was 2 at the time.) We were so thrilled and honored to have her. She had no manners whatsoever! She was used to eating ice cream and cookies, being let in and out as often as she desired. She was allowed to go anywhere she wanted in that house at anytime. She was spoiled rotten! The first time I met her I was taken by her. She was outside in the backyard standing up with her front feet on the top of the gate starring at us (James and I). She looked as if she had two pigtails coming out of her head. She was beautiful and so full of energy, so full of life. Happy and spoiled, a queen's attitude. She was so loved by Marylou and Jeffie - James' grandparents. Jeffie got very ill and died in August of 98'. James told me that Marylou might offer Blossom to me. I didn't believe it. I knew how much she adored that dog. There was no way she would ever part with her. Never. But she did. She gave her to me. James and I were not married at the time. She had just met me less than a year before. I already had a dog - Daisy (a lovely little lab mix who had TERRIBLE separation anxiety) and James' dog, Spike, was staying with me also (a HUGE, 120lb + black lab with one snarled tooth). They loved the addition of Blossom, but Blossom was most definitely a one dog show. James helped me find wonderful homes for Daisy and Spike and I was left with my sweet Blossom. She was so happy that those dogs were gone. She snuggled with me on the couch, slept with me in the bed, layed on my feet. She adored me and I her. We made a great team. There was one time we almost lost her - she ran after a little Chihuahua and ended up getting hit by a car. Minor injuries, but I was so shaken by it that I had a fence installed at my place as soon as I could. My sweet parents came from Atlanta to put that fence in.

After James and I married, Blossom was pushed to the floor - out of my bed. James wouldn't budge on that. My allergies were bothering me so much that it was a good thing, but I felt so very sorry about it anyway. Little by little, we pushed her out the door. After the kids were born she was banished to the backyard. We rarely went out to play with her. I felt bad, but didn't make changes. There was a time or two that she slipped out of the backyard and I thought she was gone forever. How very horrible I felt during those times. We found her though. God, I loved her more after we found her. I wanted her inside with us, but it didn't happen. When Anna was here week before last, I finally gave her a bath and trimmed her. She so needed it. I spent time finding mattes in her fur and cutting them out, I brushed her and shampooed her twice. She was sooooo clean and beautiful.

We had 7 people come to our place July 8th. Jennifer (James' cousin and granddaughter of Marylou), Jeff - her husband, their two boys, a lady from Sweden and her two children. Jennifer cried when she saw Blossom - she reminded her of Marylou and Jeffie....

The next day we were due to go out on the boat for the day. Blossom was on her run and she saw that we were preparing to go - she always sensed things like that and didn't like being left one bit.... James asked me to take Blossom off her run after he moved the boat out of the backyard. I answered back "Are you going to shut the gate?" He answered back "Never mind, I'll shut the gate and take Blossom off her run" He must have shut the gate and then walked around the house to go in and take her off her run, but he got distracted. He yelled over to me as I was about to get in the van, "Julie, did you get my swimsuit?", "No", I yelled, "it's in the drawer". I should have thought to bring his suit. That is my job as a wife.... He got distracted, got his suit and never took Blossom off her run. It would have been OK if it was obstacle free around her run, but it wasn't. There was a tall pole coming out of the ground - the damn bird feeder post. With a hook on each side. It was wedged in the ground, sturdy. She must have gotten her lead wrapped around the damn post a few times. Then struggled, caused the wraps to tighten and then I don't even know what or how for certain.

We had a fun time on the boat, but around 4pm Nathan was starting to lose it, not minding and such. I asked James to take Ava, Nathan and I back to the boat ramp so we could head home. Everyone else was going to stay out and tube and such. I got home with the kids around 6pm. Ava was fast asleep so I put her in her crib. Nathan was so tired. I fed him and put him to sleep. I had started dinner for our 'crew' while he was eating. I put him down at 7:15pm. Still plenty of light out. I remember just feeling peaceful and happy to have a few moments alone.... I decided to go email my sweet Megan for a few minutes, but remembered we were using EVERY single chair in the house for our guests. I went to get a chair and checked out back on Blossom. I saw her lying on the grass, still as ever. Something didn't look right though, her lead was wrapped around the bird feeder post and it was leaning at an odd angle. I ran out there, praying for to just be asleep. But she was not. Asleep. She was dead. She was dead and we killed her. We killed our precious dog. Marylou's dog. Whom she adored and entrusted to our care. God! Why?? Why did we neglect her so in her old age???? How could we forget to check before we left her? I'm so so so sorry. I would do anything to take it back. God, I even came back to the house after we left because James and I left the boat key at home. I even went in the kitchen to get Nathan a sippy cup of juice. I never even looked outside. Never checked on her. Never thought to.....

I ran to my neighbors - so thankful that the kids were tucked in their beds, sound asleep. My sweet next door neighbor Kenny came over and we dug Blossom's grave together. He told me she had been dead for several hours - maybe 4 or more. We didn't leave till after one. So she may have been alive when I came back to get the boat key? Struggling in the backyard, without me knowing it? It is too much to bear. Too much, too much. James and I bear no hard feelings toward each other. How could we? It was not intentional. It was a mistake. A horrible, costly mistake. One that will be with us until we leave this earth. We will forever feel responsible for her death. James told me that he tried to place that post in the ground 3 times before it ended up where it was. The ground was just too soft to support its weight. How ironic that it ended up there - how ironic was it that she died on Marylou's birthday? I know that the Lord knew about it before it ever happened. It says in the bible that he is the beginning and the end. He knows all. It comforts me that he was aware. He died for the shame we feel regarding her death. He died on the cross for every single mistake we make in life. I know I must give my burden to him. I know I can't take it with me. I can't carry it anyhow. It's too heavy. Too painful. Too terrible. I'm sorry. So sorry. I just wish I could tell her that. And Marylou. I'd scoop that dog up and adore her like I did before.

Here are some pictures from years and years ago. The first is of Blossom and Marylou - in 2000. At our place.

I don't feel like giving background for the others. These were all before she was an outside dog. I may post more later. Or not.

In the truck, with her seat belt on, heading to VT.

I loved resting with Blossom in *OUR CHAIR*